Dinner Party
by Princess of Drasnia
Summary: This is NOT a serious fanfiction. It is hopelessly strange and utterly weird. It is about how the characters feel about the books about them...*modified a bit*


UPDATE AS OF 1/1/03—I have a David Eddings role play that is going quite well, but could use more players!  If you are interested go toà http://rpol.net/rpol/game.cgi?gamename=The+Scroll+of+Sephelous&date=1041480807 (Just in case that does not work for some reason, it's on rpol.net under Fantasy, under the Scroll of Sephelous.) 

Disclaimer: They are not mine,  
I wish they could be!  
So please don't sue  
Poor, helpless me!   
  
*cough* All of these characters belong to David Eddings. I do not own them…  
  


**Dinner Party  
By Princess of Drasnia**  
  


The annual dinner party was going well so far. The guests seemed to be enjoying themselves and no one had had a nervous breakdown yet. There were twelve places set at the long table. Polgara the Sorceress, Belgarath the Sorcerer, Belgarion the Overlord of the West, Eriond, Ce'Nedra, Durnik, Beldin, Vella, Belzedar and Kal Torak were seated already. Polgara let out an exclamation and she put the book she had been regarding sharply down onto the table.  
  
"Not _again_!" she cried in horror. "No! I simply cannot stand this anymore! It's ridiculous!"  
  
The book was entitled The Seeress of Kell and it was by David Eddings. The others looked apprehensive.   
  
"What does it say, Polgara?" Belgarath pleaded. "Anymore 'jokes' about my age and I'll—"  
  
"Of course not!" Polgara answered quickly, her eyes darting from side to side suspiciously.  
  
Suddenly there was a shout from the table, "Bow to me! I am a God!"  
  
Polgara looked at the shouting Eriond with alarm.  
  
"Oh, no! He got a copy of the book!" she wrung her hands. "I tried to prevent it…Someone calm him down!"  
  
"What's going on, Polgara?" Torak asked, worried. "I—I didn't do it! I didn't do anything…d—did I?" He promptly burst into tears and was consoled by Ce'Nedra.  
  
"We know you'd never do anything bad!" she said sweetly patting his head kindly.  
  
Torak was still horrified, "But—but in the other books! I—I—"  
  
"Those weren't real, old boy!" Beldin cut in. "You never really did any of that."  
  
"I would never have! I would _never_ have forced Polgara to be my wife! It—it was only a little _crush_! I swear! Everyone has crushes!" he looked at Polgara pleadingly. "I got over it! It's alright, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, yes," she said absently.  
  
At that moment Silk and Velvet entered.  
  
"My goodness!" Velvet said impatiently. "Why is he crying _this_ time?"  
  
"New book," Garion said, waving it in the air.  
  
"Ooh!" Liselle held out her hand, "How I _adore_ these! They are so very entertaining!" She opened it and browsed through happily.  
  
"Bow to me!!! I am the God of the Angaraks!" Eriond was at it again.  
  
Liselle blinked slowly at him and then turned to Polgara, "Whatever is he talking about? Oh, no…don't tell me. He thinks he's a God." She sighed.  
  
"And Garion is convinced he can touch some orb thing, he keeps running away to find it; Ce'Nedra talks to trees, the girl is off her head! Durnik keeps trying to do magic, and the list goes on and on!" Polgara exclaimed, eyes widening. "There are hardly any of us left uncorrupted!"  
  
Silk raised an eyebrow, "What is Belzedar doing?"  
  
Belzedar was twitching, his eyes wide and horrified as he struggled.  
  
"Does he still think he's encased in rock?"  
  
Polgara nodded sadly.  
  
"Belgarath!" Belzedar cried despondantly. "Let me out! _No!_ **_Come back!_**" He banged on the air persistently.  
  
"Ah," Silk said and turned to Liselle. "I do feel sorry for our poor friends. Whoever could be writing this literature?"  
  
"David and sometimes Leigh Eddings," Polgara answered with a scowl at the authors.  
  
Vella withdrew a knife, "At least they've kept me pretty close to normal. Good thing too." She fingered her knife and then looked pointedly at Beldin. "Although about that diamond you supposedly gave for me…" 

"I'm sorry, me dear, but I do no' 'ave such a stone!"  
  
"And _don't_ talk like that! You know I hate it! I can't believe you almost refused to pay for me! And then you used _counterfeit money!_ Is that all I'm worth? **_Nothing?_**"  
  
Beldin carefully didn't answer.  
  
Just then, Belgarath began to howl like a wolf.  
  
Polgara, and the others sane enough to think, covered their ears.  
  
"There he goes again!" Polgara yelled over the noise. "He thinks mother was a wolf! _And_ he thinks he can turn into one! Everyone knows that's impossible! I've had to save him several times."  
  
"Whoever this Eddings fellow is, he must be making a fortune," Silk commented, clearly interested.  
  
The gathering was starting to fall apart.  
  
"I am a God!"  
  
Polgara shook her head and said warningly, "If I ever find that David Eddings…" She laughed suddenly, "What am I talking about? He's no one we'll ever know. I just wonder where he got the idea! Oh well…" She nudged Durnik, who was trying to turn his napkin into God only knew what, and they fairly ran from the room.  
  
Silk and Velvet watched the others leave, one by one, in silence. The room was soon empty, except for them.  
  
They looked at each other slowly.  
  
"Should we tell them?" Liselle asked.  
  
Silk thought about it for a very short second. "I think," he said carefully, "that it would be a good idea to keep this to ourselves for the time being. And forever."  
  
She laughed, "Well, let's get started on the next one then."  
  
  
**A/N: I fixed it up a bit and added a little, but not much. I also wanted to thank everyone 'cause you've all been so nice! Oh and the free publicity is AWESOME! Thank you three so much!  
  
Do not ask me where this came from. I had this strange idea of Silk making money off of writing the books. Yes, this is very weird. If you don't like it, I am sorry. It certainly is strange, but everyone seems to like it a lot…to tell you the truth, I like it too!  
  
**

**Review if ya want to!  
  
NOTE: I will NOT be finishing Polanna because I have no time. I have a WHOLE bunch of Harry Potter things I'm doing right now and I am just WAY too busy. In case you want to know my other name, someone asked, it's Mrs Grim.  
  
_Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Drasnia_  
  
  
  
**


End file.
